Vang Vieng and quickly down South in Laos

The next stop off in Laos was Vang Vieng - a town renowned as the capital for the artful sport of tubing. This, for those unfamiliar with the term, involves sitting in an inflated rubber tube and floating down a river. It's not a very difficult sport.

Tubing begins with you renting out a tube and being given a lift 3km up stream. The government has taken away most of the rope swings and slides into the rocky shallow water due to people breaking themselves, so the trip downsteam is apparently a lot more serene than it used to be. In fact it's about the most relaxing way to spend a sunny afternoon. You can break up the serene by mooring at bars along the way to discuss tubing tactics with fellow tubers and have a game of bowls or basketball.

In the tubing

As the day winds down and you approach the town there is a section of rapids where a crudely scrawled "End of Tubing" sign stands next to a restaurant. Trying to disembark here may result in you falling on rocks, losing a flip-flop and flailing desperately for your life. This happened to us. Tubing was super.

Still in the tubing

The scenery around Vang Vieng is really quite something, with huge limestone rocks jutting out of the ground and a scattering of caves and pools. We hired a couple of mountain bikes to explore and headed out towards "The Blue Lagoon", known for it's azure pools of loveliness - but again we were duped by a crudely drawn fake sign to a tiny blue-ish lagoon where a lovely but unwanted Laos guide led us to a nearby cave in flip-flops and without a flashlight. Our concern grew as he slid off rocks in the dark and we decided to instead visit nearby "Nam Borkeo Phaboua Cave" by ourselves. Here was a clear swimming pool full of impossible to catch fish, some crazy stalagmites like something out of the film Alien and some terrifyingly large, and even more terrifyingly fast, spiders crawling about in the pitch black humidity.

Caving and whatnot

Being in a town surrounded by big rocks also made us fancy a climb, so we booked a day of top-rope climbing on Sleeper Wall, which is basically two cliffs which face each other and shade each other from the sun. We ended up doing 8 climbs of increasing difficulty with a helpful Laos guide who would encouragingly shout tips such as "Left foot to right hand" and "Right foot above your head" before chuckling wildly. He was actually reasonably trustworthy though and encouraged a Canadian vs English climb-off - not a victory for the English thanks to my inability to get my left foot to my right ear.

The sleeping wall

The town is a great place to relax in the evening as well, but our visas were running out so we got a bus South to the capital Vientiene and applied for a week's extension. The process took a day longer than expected, and we couldn't find much to do in the big city so we moved on quickly.

Vientiane getting ready for Christmas

On the way South we were wanting to see Konglor Cave, a vast 7.5km cavern system which can only be explored by a boat on a river that runs under a mountain. We had missed the first bus of the day due to the visa extension so instead got a later bus to the town of Tha Khaek, asking the driver to drop us off at the only crossroads en route (Laos has few roads so crossroads are rare). Here we stood looking helpless until a taxi picked us up to take us to Ban Nahin (also confusingly known as Ban Khoun Kham) which is an hour from the cave.

The road there was cold. However, to cheer us up there were rows upon rows of Jurassic hills covered in mist which didn't get photographed due to the aforementioned chilliness. This village was the least developed we've visited yet, with no wifi and very few English speakers. As usual for Laos everyone was super friendly, with one restaurant owner making me take some free plasters when he noticed, with horror, that I'd bandaged my split thumbnail with electrical tape.

The next day we hired some awful piece of Chinese engineering they were passing as a moped, and tried to head to Konglor cave. At first we made the mistake of asking directions from a non-English speaking shopkeeper who did the Thai/Laos thing of pointing down any road and nodding (this is at least the third time it's happened to us). After following this track for a half an hour we thought we should double check, and upon asking another local I was laughed at (in the kindest way you can be laughed at) and pointed back down the road we'd come from.

Anyway, we eventually found the cave an hour and a half away down some mud roads and paths and past lots of "Sabaidee!" shouting smiling children. We paid for a guide and a longtail boat and set off.

It's really, really big in there. All you can hear is dripping water and the boat engine. The headtorches barely reach to the ceiling in the high parts and the rock is twisted into some obscure apparitions around you. The guides were constantly adjusting trajectory for dangers in the water, and at points got out to push the boat up small waterfalls and rapids! We walked a dryish section of it which they've fitted with Doctor Who lighting to emphasize the weirdness. The scale of the cave is quite crazy. After emerging at a Lost World like scene on the other side of the mountain we had a little snack then headed back for a slightly faster run. Here the Laos guys laughed heartily as we splashed down mini rapids in the fragile longtail boat and took us under low shelves at health and safety breaking velocity. Fun for everyone!

Konglor Cave

Then it was unfortunately a big transit day to Pakse. Starting with a four hour freezing tuk tuk ride to Tha Khaek, we arrived at the bus station just as the seven hour bus for Pakse was leaving. We reacted with cat like ferocity and were on the bus lickety split. Luckily it stopped for food about an hour in as we had eaten nothing all day - so we had a bag of sticky rice, a papaya and some coffee coated peanuts. You don't forget a meal that grand.

Pakse was just a town for us to get some planning done. It's obviously the town where the money is in Laos as everything costs more and, well, there are a lot of banks. There's not much to do in the town itself but it's a major gateway town to Southern Laos. It was a surprisingly nice place with some cool architecture. After a day we raced further on South to get to the 4,000 islands in time for Christmas and to get out of Laos before those pesky visas expired.

- Jon

Pakse looking all nice

Hills, films and big empty jars in Laos

After travelling South to Luang Prabang, we took the logical next step and went back up North to visit Nong Khiaw. This small village is a few hours away by minivan, on a winding road alongside the Nam Ou river (a fun journey despite having 5 passengers for every 3 seats). As we neared our destination the karst scenery became more and more jagged, and the village itself is set in some of the most fantastical landscape I've ever seen. We spent most of our first evening there haltingly crossing the main bridge, pointing at everything and saying "well that's just ridiculous".

The village has a quiet, chilled atmosphere and there's a great Indian restaurant called Deen which does a mean Rogan Josh. As with all of Laos, we felt completely at ease walking back even on unlit streets. Gangs of kids with sticks are more likely to play fight you than beat you up and nick your bike. The only fear we felt was when we thought we had a snake down the sink plughole in our bungalow - but this turned out to be a persistant frog which is probably still there.

We were intending to go on the '100 waterfalls' trek, but Tiger Trail have a monopoly at the moment and the price was a bit much for us. Instead, we met up with some French travelers for a explore out to caves used by villagers to hide from US bombs during the Secret War.

For some exercise we also climbed up to Nong Khiaw Viewpoint, which started out steep and then became markedly steeper, more jungly and very sweaty. It was worth it for the Lord of the Rings-esque tangled forest near the summit and for the panoramic view of the whole area when we did make it up.

We headed briefly back to Luang Prabang in time to catch the first day of the 2013 Asian Film Festival, which had loads of free screenings around town. Of what we saw P-047 was my favourite, an incomprehensible but entertaining thing about a couple of Thai guys breaking into homes and 'borrowing' them for a few hours.

Also worth our time was the Traditional Arts and Ethnology Centre which had interesting information on local history, livelihoods and religion, plus a cafe serving an awesome 'ethnic sampler' meal - the everyday favourites of locals in a Westerner friendly format.

Then, we traveled a bit South and a long way East to Phonsavan on the Plain of Jars. This was something I was very keen to see - the stone-age jars are scattered over more than 100 sites and vary a great deal in size, although most are big enough for someone to hide in. Most intriguingly no one is sure what they're for. The best guess is funeral urns (or perhaps better, giants' whisky jars) but as they don't exist anywhere else and no other remains of the civilisation have been found, evidence is severely limited. They are very cool.

We ended up also learning a good deal about the Secret War, as the Plain of Jars was at the centre of conflict between the communist Pathet Lao army and the CIA-backed 'secret army' of Hmong people, before and during the war in Vietnam. The US dropped more bombs on Laos than it did on Germany and Japan combined in WWII, but this didn't quite have the desired effect as the Pathet Lao party took power in 1975.

Unexploded Ordinance (UXO) remains a major hazard, and all over the place you can see craters and bits of bare ground where Agent Orange still prevents growth. You can't go off the beaten track as they aren't expecting to fully clear the bombs and chemicals for another 100 years. The Laotians make aluminum cutlery from melted war scrap and use cluster bomb casings as stilts for houses, being very resourceful people.

Phonsavan itself is only 40 years old, as the old town was completely destroyed in the fighting. It is industrial and cold at night - the 1200m altitude outweighs the latitude here. It is a good environment for mulberries however. We went round a silk farm which grows mulberries; feeds the leaves to silk worms; spins, dyes (with dye produced from plants on site) and weaves the resulting silk; and does a line in mulberry tea, wine and jam on the side. Perhaps unsurprisingly they are very successful and the lady who set it up was nominated for the Nobel Prize for her efforts. Now I just need to think of something that tidy that'd work back home...

- Kath

A Nibble of Northern Laos

Laos is beautiful. It's full of never ending hills and rivers - although so far we have only followed the hilly road which follows the river so the rest may be a dump and flat.

Our first port of call was Luang Namtha in the north. From the border this is a 7 hour bus ride through a national park of solid forest which may or may not feature tigers. We saw no tigers. Tourists are made welcome in the town by a row of boards advertising the kinds of activities tourists like to do. We chose to rent a bicycle and go kayaking although not simulateously.

The kayaking is done on the river Namtha because everywhere else is too dry. We had a 2 person kayak to ourselves which was initially faulty and kept spinning in a circle. Eventually, we persuaded it down some rapids and through some trees. It's apparently severely more technical in the wet season, but it's still a giggle when it's not too treacherous.

Our guide stopped us to tour a couple of small rural tribe villages, of which there are lots in Laos. The first village was a "Lanten", or "Indigo", tribe - thus named for their dyed clothes and handicrafts (which were swiftly presented in case we may wish to purchase any). They live in bamboo houses with earth floors and have recently begun to enjoy TV and mopeds and whatnot. The tour, while giving some interesting insights, felt a little too personal though; as the people were just in their homes getting their stuff done.

The second village was of the Khmu tribe, who build houses on stilts up the side of hills. They have cooking hearths in the wooden houses made of flame resistant termite nest material, which is pretty cool; and a little ironic that termites end up protecting the wooden houses.

We took the rented bicycles around some nearby gnarly paths through some more villages to a classic Russian style dam and a watertrickle. Really though, what was striking while riding is the fertility of the land. The fields are full of grain, trees are full of bananas, rivers are full of fish and streets are full of babies. In fact, there were more babies, puppies, kittens, chicks and piglets than even Kath had time to say "aww" at. Rumours say surplus puppies, from the untrimmed hounds which roam the streets at night, are shipped off to Vietnam or to the local Chinese restaurants for delicacies. But that can't be true... right?

Next was a shaky bus ride to Luang Prabang. Shaky because the road is unfinished, but still used. Shaky because of bad timing for a vomiting bug for Kath. Shaky because we arrived in town 10 minutes before the nationwide midnight curfew and our booked guesthouse was locked tight. Everything turned out OK though. We lost a few days to illness, so spent a while relaxing and rediscovering cake and baguettes (the tasty legacy of French rule).

To burn off the bagels we did a 60km bike ride to the rather stunningly dramatic Kwang Si waterfall with its pools of azure loveliness. En route we rode through numerous villages which, like the rest of Laos, seem to be almost entirely under construction with every third house being built into classic European style digs painted in primary colours.

Luang Prabang itself is a really chilled out riverside town. You can grab a super cheap vegan street buffet, climb the hill in the middle of town to see Buddha's footprint, browse the mile long night handicraft market, watch a cool movie at L'etranger cafe or listen to Tom Waits at the Icon bar (although the owner would like it if people requested some other music from time to time - it has become a little bit of a Tom Waits mecca). Or you can just eat lots of bread.

Anyways, Laos is beautiful. And hilly with rivers. And bread.

- Jon

The Loi Krathong festival and onwards to Laos

The Loi Krathong festival is a big celebration of floaty floats and flying lanterns. We were in Pai, but heard that the finest city for celebrating was back in Chiang Mai so decided, with two of our Tacomepai farmstay compadres, to make sure we were there. Easier decided than done, as all the guesthouses were long since booked by forward thinkers, but after over 20 phone calls we bagged a couple of rooms at "Jo's House", and so from Pai to Chiang Mai we embarked.

First we hitchhiked from the farm to Pai town. That was a new and surprisingly easy experience. Unlike in England, you wave your arm up and down (preferably while smiling) rather than our familiar thumbs up. Most people have pick up trucks, so us four bag-laden farangs fitted easily in the back. Then, rather than getting a deathspeed minibus we were convinced into waiting for the local bus by our German friend Markus. "It'll be an experience" he said. "Adventure" he said. Well, once aboard we had to stand for around 5 hours in the 4 square inches of aisle not taken by bags and legs while our heads bounced off of the "safety bars" throughout the mountain pass. Finally the bus, which had been groaning up the hills, broke down for a third and final time around 36km from Chiang Mai.

We hailed a taxi which, due to the language barrier, took us 3km off our destination - so as the celebrations were getting under way we struggled with directions from locals and a confused google maps until, with a breath of palpable relief, we found "Jo's House"... which had already rented our rooms out.

Overcoming our fury, we grappled with the probability of a night on a park bench, but decided to get a cornetto and enjoy what we could of the festival. Even weighed down with bags we had a great time and found our way towards the river where there was a very cheesy procession of youths looking awkward in loin cloths and pointy hats. The bridge over the river, and just about everywhere else, was a take off point for thousands of Chinese lanterns ("khom-loi" in Thai) - which filled the sky (and the odd tree) with light. Some were sneakily modified with high powered fireworks for a bit more of a thrill. Under the bridge, hundreds of "krathong", or "floaty things with candles", were released onto the river. Our camera was entirely incapable of capturing any of this.

Eventually we found a hotel room on the outskirts of town which all 4 of us piled into. The festivities on the next day were like a much bigger, less stressful version of the last.

As the festival wound down, so had our visas. We got a minibus to the border which stopped for curry and a white temple photo opportunity at Chiang Rai.

On the border of Thailand, with just the Mekhong river separating it from Laos is the town of Chiang Khong. There's not much there except a bike museum run by a Liverpudlian cycling enthusiast and some pool tables, so the next day we checked out of the country, paid 80 pence to cross the river and paid $35 for a month's worth of Laos visa. Most backpackers here were squeezing onto the slow boat headed to the town of Luang Prabang, but we were looking for an experience and an adventure. So we waited for the local bus.

- Jon

A Slice of Pai, Thailand

Pai is a small town in the northerny north bit of Thailand. It's full of bad pun restaurants like "Pai in the Sky". Because it's up in the hills you get baked during the day and shiver at night if you only packed t-shirts. We stayed for 2 weeks there - which means we're probably more like settlers than travelers.

The road to Pai...

...is 762 curves of woo! A savvy business called Aya in Chiang Mai lets you rent a little motorbike and drop it back at their office in Pai so that you can enjoy the hills. They even take your luggage in one of their breakneck speed minibuses which will be in Pai long before you get there.

The road is generally good with the odd yawning pothole and slow moving pig wagon. It's about 3 to 5 hours depending how often you stop to gape at mountain scenery.

Woo!

What kind of Pai?

Pai has a tasty filling of hippies and eco-warriors, garnished with riverside bamboo huts, herbal tea cafes and sleeping dogs. The pace of life is extremely leisurely.

This sums up Pai

The expat community is big enough to get home comforts like fig rolls and lasagne; and if it's your birthday, and you're so inclined, then you can buy a guitalele from Boy's music shop.

Pai by night. Pai by day.

What else is on the overstretched metaphorical plate next to the Pai?

Well, there's a big white Buddha on a hill over looking the town and there is Pai Canyon which is an astonishing geological oddity with an unsettling lack of fences.

"Fences, please" - Jon

There's also Piranha Fishing Park which has a lake of genuine imported teethy fish (or so we're told) among others. Us first time fishers found the supposedly relaxing pastime quite intense as Jon caught two huge (non-teethy) fishes in two hours - both of which required me to net the fish, take the hook out their mouths with pliars and release back to be caught again. Amusingly one of them managed to slime Jon's new trousers on the way down.

We used human toes exclusively for bait

Other attractions like waterfalls and hot springs were not visited due to 4 days of rest necessary after our experience at Tip Off-Road Motorcycling where, after an adrenaline fuelled morning on Honda 250cc enduro bikes in the countryside, Jon messed up a corner which in turn messed up his knee for a little bit. He's ok now though!

It's worse than it looks

In the evening there is usually something-a-happening in Pai. The Bebop Bar (a new contender for worst pool table ever) has a massive open mic night on Wednesday which, on our visit, featured gypsy jazz, computer game themes and rock flute solos. At Edible Jazz Bar, Nai Noi, the Thai double acoustic guitar tapping maestro, entertained all, and Jon was able to turn some of his injury-frustration into sound on drums at Mr Nong's practice room. Mr Nong being the hooded stickman in Giant Bar's Hendrix worshipping house band.

Musicians of varying ability

Tacomepai

No that's not an obscure pun (as far as we know), it's the name of a permaculture farm stay on the outskirts of Pai. In our 4 nights there we got stuck into some rice paddy harvesting, coffee bean peeling and roasting, mushroom watering, fruit and vegetable foraging and lots of cooking. And washing up.

Simple Living

Work is more or less optional, but whether you join in or not everyone eats together which really makes you feel part of community (despite our short time there). We had a surprisingly successful attempt at making pizza (sans cheese) and garlic bread in the clay oven which pleased even Sandot, the farm owner (not known for his love of foreign food).

Back to basics. Farming and Pizza.

The farm employed some interesting systems, such as using ash instead of Fairy liquid, bamboo for everything from plates to hut construction, and the 'food forest' in which plants provide shade, protection from erosion, habitat for pollinating insects and nitrogen-fixing for the soil as well as food. On the other hand for an organisation so keen on minimising waste they certainly get through a lot of wood cooking on open fires! However, if you were thinking of growing some food in a sustainable way you could probably get a lot out of the courses they run.

Which machete to buy?

It was a fun to stay somewhere a bit different, and even our spider web riddled shell of a hut we slept in had some amusing surprises such as a frog on top of the mosquito net (how?) and a midnight puppy visit. The latter actually became a puppy stay and we missed the early morning getup because you can't sleep through 5 hours of puppy crying unless you're made of stone. The next night we actually had 2 puppy visitors but we'd tracked down the owner by then who gave the puppies to a rather exhausted looking mum dog!

Cutest. Puppies. Ever.

...and that was Pai.

- Kath